you know, i havent really discussed alcoholism. not the ways that it touches every aspect of my life. how much more there is than not drinking, because drinking is only a symptom. to say i'm compulsive, that i have an addictive personality, is surely true, but it also strips away too much of the truth to be completely honest. i drink, i purge, i overeat, everything--to stop feeling. to disconnect from life. to find peace. to feel whole, or try to forget that i dont, as often and for as long as i can.
i'm never going to change. i've tried this before and i'm right back where i started. what's the point?
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