Day Seven

i guess it's technically day eight! so that's nice. today was pretty rad. but first, last night. i went to a really awesome meeting to celebrate my friend jesse's seven years of sobriety. she has been a really awesome friend to me these past few weeks and it was amazing to see her up there talking about where she's been and where she is now and how she got there. something weird happened though. back in december i went out on three dates with a guy i met from okcupid. he was sober. i decided i didnt like him and ended it. and then last night he was there. and he was totally cool to me and very nice but i was uncomfortable to the ninth degree about it. he said, "how are you?" and i said, "well i relapsed"--just to put it all out there. i think my intentions were kind of like "see how lucky you were to get away??" and i think i made that point loud and clear. anyway it was just weird, because i loved the meeting, actually, but also think of it has HIS meeting now, and am nervous about going again. but i did go out with people after. he didnt come, and i had a great time, and was out past midnight so didnt go home until a point when i felt safe to be alone, so that was awesome. i posted a picture of me and jesse on facebook. it's the one under the giant clock on the wall haha. she is great. and then i suddenly realized that to get home from there i "had" to walk past the bar i had been frequenting, and i told her that, and she said she was going to drive me home anyway. and she did. <3 she is a really good person.

while i was out last night i made plans with a girl i just met to meet her a meeting today and then go to a sober picnic in the park. so we went to the meeting, then came home to pick up tommy, and then went to the park. it was fun. i wasnt COMPLETELY comfortable because i didnt feel like i knew that many people but it was great to see some people i did know, to meet others, and to be out in the sun for a few hours with tommy. sun always makes me feel good.

then tonight, though, i went to a friend's to watch arrested development. and the friend knows that i have been in recovery for years but not that i drank recently, so it wasnt weird for me not to drink. but there were other people there, including someone who... was really cool and who i liked a lot and who brought wine blah blah blah. someone who asked what i was drinking and i had to say "water." oy. that was challenging.